The first thing you need to know about them is…
As a freshman in college, I was the new girl on campus. I was at a loss for how to meet people. One day, I spotted the most handsome guy in the hall. I was shy, but I had to know who he was. “Hi,” I said. “Can I ask you a question?” He answered, “Sure.” I had a million questions, but I was too nervous, so I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “What advice would you give your 17-year-old self?”
The rest of this list is structured around the questions you should ask them.
There’s no need to shy away from a deep conversation, but you’ll have a better chance of meeting someone new if your first encounters are light and casual. It’s important to get to know someone through the small talk that comes with frequenting the same social circles, but you’ll need to take things to a deeper level if you really want to connect. After the first encounter, you’ll want to reach out to the person again in a week or two, but don’t overwhelm them with constant messages. Many people are hesitant to message someone first, especially if they think the other person is more attractive, connected, or otherwise noteworthy. If you wait for the other person to message you first, you’re more likely to be on equal footing and more likely to connect. "Business Insider’s Guide to Email Etiquette"
What books or authors changed your life?
My favourite author of all time is William Shakespeare, so if I could choose a book, it would be “The Complete Works of Shakespeare.” I was introduced to Shakespeare by my high school English teacher, Mr. Smith. How to make it work for you: I’m a big believer in the power of storytelling, and I try to tell stories in every one of my speeches. I also believe that when people tell me stories about their experiences, I learn a lot more about them. I can tell when they are honest, and I can tell when someone is trying to fool me or impress me.
What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
First impressions are usually wrong. Really. When a new acquaintance greets you, don’t automatically assume he or she is talking to someone who looks remarkably like you. How to make it work for you: Before you pass judgment on someone, try to meet them first. Allowing time to pass before forming a judgment will allow you to look at a person with a fresh perspective.
What do you do for fun?
So I ask people a lot of questions because I’m a naturally curious person. If he answered my question with a question of his own, I’d try to give him a short answer and then ask a question about what he does for fun. How to make it work for you: What do you do for fun? If she answered my question with a question of her own, I would try to give her a short answer and then ask a question about what she does for fun.
Why are you the way you are?
Are you considering a relationship with someone, professionally or personally, but can’t figure out why you’re not clicking? It could be their need for just a little more preparation or forethought. These 10 commandments for getting to know someone new are designed to help people communicate better and enjoy one another more. How to make it work for you: 1. Remember, you have to be prepared. 2. The best way to get to know someone is to just be real. 3. Just talk about the good times. 4. If you’re going to make an assumption, make it positive. 5. How can you get to know each other? Talk about what you have in common. 6. Don’t be afraid to be curious about someone. 7. You can’t know someone until you listen to them. 8. Think about getting to know someone like a mystery novel. 9. Don’t wait to be sure you’re interested to talk to someone. 10. You need to know whether you like someone before you decide whether you love them.
What’s your favorite movie and TV series?
The most common relationships are based on friendship. And just like you have to consistently spend time with your friends to strengthen your bond, the same is true with new acquaintances. It’s not enough to say hello once and then wait for them to contact you. How to make it work for you: Be a little more proactive in your interactions and ask some questions. It’s not hard to come up with a good list of interesting things to ask, as they’re often things that have to do with their interests, hobbies, job, and so on. Section Title: The Truth about Federal Agents Section Text: If you’re looking to be a G-Man, you’ve got lots of training in front of you. You’ll spend hundreds of hours in the classroom and the range. And you’ll face years of exam periods where you will be tested daily. If you do all of that and still want to be a Federal Agent, then you’re facing an interview process that includes a battery of psychological and physiological tests.
What is your greatest fear?
Ask about what scares your date. Whether it’s being alone, walking down a dark street, being far away from home, flying, or anything else that makes their skin crawl, it’s a great way to open up about what fears they have. This gets you into their comfort zone — and trust me, people love to talk about themselves. I love the concept of open-ended questions. It allows for a whole range of responses, which gives you more conversation fodder to talk about, which will help you get to know the other person.
What’s your biggest regret?
One of the best ways to get to know someone new is to share one of your own biggest regrets. People generally want to be liked, and to do that you need to learn about them. So when you ask, “What’s your biggest regret?” they’ll tell you. The real beauty of this question is that you’re not asking them to be vulnerable (which is harder to ask than you think); you’re asking them to share something they’re already vulnerable about. How to make it work for you: Ask one person this question every day.
What is the best gift you’ve ever received, and why?
I always keep a journal in my car. This is one of my best memories and gifts I’ve ever received. I went through a very dark time in my life and someone very close to me suggested I start writing in the journal. I wrote about everything that was going on in my life and wrote down anything that was bothering me. I wrote every day for almost a year.